Monday, November 28, 2005

Skateland

Ok...so I know it's been a while since I updated this thing. Sorry, but things have just been crazy lately. I got a call from my ol' buddy, Bobby "Side" Burns, last night...and he gave me a little grief about not keeping it up-to-date. That said, I promised him I'd do a better job, and here's proof:

Skateland


So on my last trip to Corinth, it hit me that after all the other pictures and stories about that awesome town and all of its memorable spots, I'd forgotten about one key place: Skateland.

Obviously, the picture above indicates that the name has changed. I'm not sure when that happened, but I can tell you that I'm fairly certain it's not the place it used to be "back in the day." I can't remember exactly when Skateland opened in Corinth, but I want to say it was sometime in the mid to late 70's. No matter what the occasion, Skateland was the best venue in the area. When I think back on my first few times there, visions of feathered butt-cut hair-do's come to mind. And let's not forget about the infamous "comb in the back pocket." Regardless of what kind of person you were or what kind of hair-do you had, the cool thing was to have a comb in your back pocket. I distinctly recall people skating around the place with combs in their back pockets. Of course, if you fell, you always ran the risk of landing on your butt and breaking that prized possession. I guess it was worth it, though, because those things were everywhere. Pink, blue, yellow...the handles visible in the back pockets of everyone...

Skateland was also the place to have birthday parties. Up until Jr. High, almost every kid had his or her birthday party at Skateland. As you walked in the place, the consession stand and tables for eating were to the right, and that's where the actual party took place. There were arcade games along the wall in that area, too....Missle Command, Defender, and of course, Pac Man. To the left as you walked in, was the DJ booth, and on the other side of that was the area where you rented your skates. And speaking of skates....

The roller skates you wore were a major fashion statement, as well as a measure of your coolness. The expert skaters would never have "rented" their skates. Oh, no. Rentals were for the amateurs. The skilled "cool" skaters brought their own skates...you know, the ones with the clear wheels or the yellow neon wheels. The girls had white ones with big puff balls on the laces. The fancier the skates, the better the skater. Which is another reason I was a "renter." This was always a pain in the butt for me because my feet were so big...I could rarely find a pair of skates that fit me. Those ugly brown skates with the big orange bumper on the toes...man, they were ugly. But I had no choice....I was a horrible skater, so I couldn't justify having the cool skates.

At these parties, as well as on Saturday afternoons, there would be different kinds of "skates." Not skates as in "roller skates," but skates as in "types of skating." There was the "Snowball Skate" where the boys lined the wall on one end of the rink, and the girls lined the wall at the other end of the rink. A slow song like "Open Arms" by Journey would come on, and the boys would skate to the other end and ask a girl to skate with him. This was always a major drama catastrophy because there would always be one or two girls left after all the guys had chosen their girls. So the ones that were left would sob and totally play the "poor me" card. It was hilarious....and it was usually the same girls every time. Can you imagine?! Then there were the show-off's. Guys like Corey Battles and Michael Brewer who could do all the tricks like skating backwards, jumping stuff, and all that. The girls thought they were the coolest because of their superior skating skills. There was also usually a guy who would act like he crashed into a wall or bench or something and wait for all the girls to rush over to him to make sure he was alright. Michael Nash was pretty good at doing that....

Nothing beat the songs that we usually skated to. Songs like "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen, "Double Dutch Bust" by the Sugar Hill Gang, the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, anything by Journey, ABBA, the Bee Gees....every time I hear one of those songs, it immediately takes me back to the good ol' Skateland days.

Anyway, just thought I'd share some memories of good ol' Skateland. If any of you out there remember some things that I've forgotten, just drop me a line and let me know, and I'll post a follow-up story. Skateland stories are too good to not be shared with the rest of the world!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Sorry for the lack of updates....

Sorry to be so out of touch with regards to updating the site. Things have been crazy lately, and we're currently out of town for Thanksgiving. But rest assured, I've got plenty of stuff to report on once we get back. Stay tuned!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Alabama Bird Dogs


*Thanks to my good ol' buddy Bobby "Side" Burns for this fine display of Southern humor.....

Friday, November 4, 2005

Grocery Store Wars

I've never really been an organic food fan, but after seeing this, I might have to become one. This is hilarious!!!

Monday, October 31, 2005

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Idiot's Guide to eBay


Not sure if there's a book like this out there, but if there is....this guy should read it. Can you tell what's EXTREMELY wrong with this picture? I'll give you a hint....when you figure it out, it will be painfully obvious that this table is for sale by a man...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

They weren't the first....

Being a kid of the '80's, of course I would think that the New Kids on the Block...and then groups like the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync...were the ones that made the concept of "boy bands" successful.

Looks like I was wrong!! Don't believe me? Take this group, for example:

Gert Jonnys

First of all, why does that guy have his arms spread like he's presenting something or performing magic? Second of all, those outfits look like highschool band uniforms. What's with that?! Not only does the guy on the right have a bad hairdo, but he's cross-eyed and has one hell of a gap between his front teeth...

You think that's bad? Keep reading!!!

Jahn Rondhos

First of all, the tall guy in the back looks a little too happy about having his arms around those dudes. The guy below him looks like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip. And the guy on the far right seems a little shy or disengaged....are those bunk beds in the background???

Jan-Werners

I think these guys somehow bypassed the age limit. Looks like Abe Lincoln in the back...and that one dude...is that supposed to be a mohawk? Jesus...they look more like lumberjacks than a band..

Kurt Reines

Hmmm....are those sweatsuits? Is that Jerry "The King" Lawler second from the left? Is that Owen Wilson next to him? I've never seen a sweatsuit with a spread collar like that...have you???

Lennes

Ok. I don't really know what to make of these guys. Pink and white outfits....their shirts remind me of the nun that could fly, for some reason.

Curt Mortenz

These guys should have changed their names to "Camel Toes" and is that Grizzly Adams on the far right? I bet the third guy from the right played bass...

Madox

For some reason, the old 70's show ZOOM! comes to mind here. I'm really confused....what are they getting at here? Stripes and ladders...I don't see the connection...is this supposed to be a Pippi Longstockings cover band?

Tommy Bergs

Why are these guys so happy? They should have named themselves "Arnold Horshack and the Butt Cuts" if you ask me. If I was wearing a green satin shirts, I would definitely not be happy...

Kjell Brooz

I think this is actually a Bill Gates fraternity picture. There's no way these guys were actually in a band. Those shirts are a little too tight, guys!

Inge Lindqvists

These guys have to be related to one another...

Cool Candys

I didn't realize Sting was in a boy band prior to founding the Police....I always heard he was a teacher first. Hmmm. These guys are definitely cool. Especially the guy on the bottom in the glasses. Yellow and denim go well together...

Benny Lawins

I think the guy without his scarf must have put it in his pants...

We Four

First of all, someone can't count. There's six of you, not four! I thought Thelma was part of the Scooby Doo gang, not a boy band?!

Unit Five

Is that Neil Schon from Journey? I didn't know he was in a boy band prior to forming Journey!

Torlenners

Wow! Blue socks with an orange outfit....that guy is rad!! He freakin' rocks the house!!! And the guy in the back....it probably took him 5 hours and 3 cans of vasoline to slick his hair down like that. Talk about dedication!!! Is that a rabbit's foot hanging off his guitar?

Telex

If I knew I was getting my picture taken for my album cover, I would make sure I covered up my hickie!! Wow....matching necklaces....how sweet!!

Simsalabim

Let's go guys...either everyone tucks 'em in, or everyone un-tucks them...but we can't have both. I think the Power Rangers idea stemmed from this album cover, in a weird sort of way...

Patrix

Are all of these guys named Patrick or something? If so, that's such a cool way to name your band! Are we having dinner in the photo, guys? Is that empty bowl indicative of your talent? I really like the tablecloth, by the way...

Opus

Mork? Mork! Are you there? Opus is looking for you!

Norrsken

Cardigan sweaters...suspenders....now these guys are fashion GODS! Pulling your pants way up and then unbuttoning your shirt....that's a great combo. The sunglasses are a nice touch, too. Was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory filmed here, too?

Musikanterna

Richard Simmons and Captain Kangaroo!!! Wow...they were in the same boy band? How come we never knew that? Or is that Pauley Shore? I can't tell...

Macs

Man, don't you think wearing a t-shirt under those jackets would prevent itching or chafing? The two guys in the middle are definitely "special."

Ivan Henrys

Now these guys were certainly swingers. I bet they had ladies anytime they wanted them. The guy on the far right...is that Sam Kinison?

Hjarter Fem

Wow...a Valentine's Day boy band. How cool. Ron Howard's first claim to fame after he left the Andy Griffith show. That IS him on the far right, isn't it?

Gluntan

Boy, those ties do the trick! It wouldn't be complete without the red scarves in your pockets. I have every single album these guys put out. Kind of a combination between The Oakridge Boys and Motorhead. Good stuff...

Drifters

That's "Drifters" without the "The" so you don't confuse them with "The Drifters" since they are so similar in look and sound. As you can see, Napoleon's brother, Kip, also joined this band. These guys really got along well....they enjoyed back rubs. Spandex pants with matching satin shirts made it easier...

Garvis

This band actually took its name from one of the most popular playboys from my hometown of Corinth, MS. Darvis Gallaher was one of the most popular playboys ever. He was a counselor at my high school, and he drove the girls crazy. He had over 275 pairs of ankle boots that zipped on the side. Combined with Sansabelt pants, the boots were the trick. His finely groomed beard and gold jewelry also contributed to his success with the ladies. Anyway, Garvis effectively used that same look to launch themselves onto the music charts. With hits such as "Torn between Polly & Ester," "Put 'Em On, Zip 'Em Up, and Never Look Back," and "You Don't Have to be an Accordian Player to Wear a Pinkie Ring" Garvis made their mark for sure.

Bert Bennys

These guys were a cross between The Beatles and the Statler Brothers. They were more popular in Scandanavia, however.