Looks like I was wrong!! Don't believe me? Take this group, for example:
Gert Jonnys
First of all, why does that guy have his arms spread like he's presenting something or performing magic? Second of all, those outfits look like highschool band uniforms. What's with that?! Not only does the guy on the right have a bad hairdo, but he's cross-eyed and has one hell of a gap between his front teeth...
You think that's bad? Keep reading!!!
Jahn Rondhos
First of all, the tall guy in the back looks a little too happy about having his arms around those dudes. The guy below him looks like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip. And the guy on the far right seems a little shy or disengaged....are those bunk beds in the background???
Jan-Werners
I think these guys somehow bypassed the age limit. Looks like Abe Lincoln in the back...and that one dude...is that supposed to be a mohawk? Jesus...they look more like lumberjacks than a band..
Kurt Reines
Hmmm....are those sweatsuits? Is that Jerry "The King" Lawler second from the left? Is that Owen Wilson next to him? I've never seen a sweatsuit with a spread collar like that...have you???
Lennes
Ok. I don't really know what to make of these guys. Pink and white outfits....their shirts remind me of the nun that could fly, for some reason.
Curt Mortenz
These guys should have changed their names to "Camel Toes" and is that Grizzly Adams on the far right? I bet the third guy from the right played bass...
Madox
For some reason, the old 70's show ZOOM! comes to mind here. I'm really confused....what are they getting at here? Stripes and ladders...I don't see the connection...is this supposed to be a Pippi Longstockings cover band?
Tommy Bergs
Why are these guys so happy? They should have named themselves "Arnold Horshack and the Butt Cuts" if you ask me. If I was wearing a green satin shirts, I would definitely not be happy...
Kjell Brooz
I think this is actually a Bill Gates fraternity picture. There's no way these guys were actually in a band. Those shirts are a little too tight, guys!
Inge Lindqvists
These guys have to be related to one another...
Cool Candys
I didn't realize Sting was in a boy band prior to founding the Police....I always heard he was a teacher first. Hmmm. These guys are definitely cool. Especially the guy on the bottom in the glasses. Yellow and denim go well together...
Benny Lawins
I think the guy without his scarf must have put it in his pants...
We Four
First of all, someone can't count. There's six of you, not four! I thought Thelma was part of the Scooby Doo gang, not a boy band?!
Unit Five
Is that Neil Schon from Journey? I didn't know he was in a boy band prior to forming Journey!
Torlenners
Wow! Blue socks with an orange outfit....that guy is rad!! He freakin' rocks the house!!! And the guy in the back....it probably took him 5 hours and 3 cans of vasoline to slick his hair down like that. Talk about dedication!!! Is that a rabbit's foot hanging off his guitar?
Telex
If I knew I was getting my picture taken for my album cover, I would make sure I covered up my hickie!! Wow....matching necklaces....how sweet!!
Simsalabim
Let's go guys...either everyone tucks 'em in, or everyone un-tucks them...but we can't have both. I think the Power Rangers idea stemmed from this album cover, in a weird sort of way...
Patrix
Are all of these guys named Patrick or something? If so, that's such a cool way to name your band! Are we having dinner in the photo, guys? Is that empty bowl indicative of your talent? I really like the tablecloth, by the way...
Opus
Mork? Mork! Are you there? Opus is looking for you!
Norrsken
Cardigan sweaters...suspenders....now these guys are fashion GODS! Pulling your pants way up and then unbuttoning your shirt....that's a great combo. The sunglasses are a nice touch, too. Was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory filmed here, too?
Musikanterna
Richard Simmons and Captain Kangaroo!!! Wow...they were in the same boy band? How come we never knew that? Or is that Pauley Shore? I can't tell...
Macs
Man, don't you think wearing a t-shirt under those jackets would prevent itching or chafing? The two guys in the middle are definitely "special."
Ivan Henrys
Now these guys were certainly swingers. I bet they had ladies anytime they wanted them. The guy on the far right...is that Sam Kinison?
Hjarter Fem
Wow...a Valentine's Day boy band. How cool. Ron Howard's first claim to fame after he left the Andy Griffith show. That IS him on the far right, isn't it?
Gluntan
Boy, those ties do the trick! It wouldn't be complete without the red scarves in your pockets. I have every single album these guys put out. Kind of a combination between The Oakridge Boys and Motorhead. Good stuff...
Drifters
That's "Drifters" without the "The" so you don't confuse them with "The Drifters" since they are so similar in look and sound. As you can see, Napoleon's brother, Kip, also joined this band. These guys really got along well....they enjoyed back rubs. Spandex pants with matching satin shirts made it easier...
Garvis
This band actually took its name from one of the most popular playboys from my hometown of Corinth, MS. Darvis Gallaher was one of the most popular playboys ever. He was a counselor at my high school, and he drove the girls crazy. He had over 275 pairs of ankle boots that zipped on the side. Combined with Sansabelt pants, the boots were the trick. His finely groomed beard and gold jewelry also contributed to his success with the ladies. Anyway, Garvis effectively used that same look to launch themselves onto the music charts. With hits such as "Torn between Polly & Ester," "Put 'Em On, Zip 'Em Up, and Never Look Back," and "You Don't Have to be an Accordian Player to Wear a Pinkie Ring" Garvis made their mark for sure.
Bert Bennys
These guys were a cross between The Beatles and the Statler Brothers. They were more popular in Scandanavia, however.
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