Terry Tate vs. BJ Hall

One of the funniest commercials I've ever seen is the famous Terry Tate "Office Linebacker" commercial that Reebok put out a few years ago, I think during one of the Super Bowls. I laugh my butt off every time I watch this...especially at the end when Terry Tate is chsing the dork around the corner in slow motion. Funny, funny stuff. Check it out for yourself...

What's even funnier (to me) is the West Point cadets' parody of the Terry Tate commercial. Leave it up to a bunch of smart-ass cadets to come up with a darn good spoof of that commercial...BJ Hall "Barracks Linebacker." Perhaps it's only "cadet humor" and you don't find it funny. Well, I find it hilarious, so I don't care what you think! Seriously, check this out....you gotta admit it's pretty funny...

Little Johnnie

We've all heard the jokes about "Little Johnny". And in case you've ever
wondered what that "little Johnny", looked like, well here he is.



Not that you wouldn't be able to tell, but he's the kid in the red shirt.

Jingle Bells played backwards...

My friend Kevin just sent me this and it's amazing. I can't believe I've been listening to Jingle Bells for 35 years and have never thought it would sound like this when played backwards. Pretty cool...

Talk about annoying...

Talk about annoying...

I'm at the Thrashers/Leafs hockey game (Thrashers just scored their 5th goal making it 5-0) and this girl is in the box next to us. She is screaming and has the most annoying voice I've ever heard in my life. She's been screaming the entire game. She's about to be thrown onto the rink any minute now....

Tip for the weekend...

It's been crazy for the last week or so, so sorry to be out of touch and not up-to-date on posting. As soon as things slow down a bit, I'll be back...

Meanwhile, here's a tip for the weekend:

Never moon a werewolf.

I'm back...

Sorry it's been so long, folks....nevertheless, I'm back...

I don't have much time to write, but I will leave you with this:

You know you're drunk when you think the cab fare is the time...!

Step 1: Stare at the above image and focus on the four dots in the center.

Step 2: Continue to stare for 45 seconds.

Step 3: Slowly find a wall in the room and look close up at it. You should see something on the wall. Try blinking a few times.

Do you see something on the wall? If this doesn't work for you at first keep trying.

By the way...

For those of you that were stumped by the "Idiots Guide to Ebay" story last month, here's a clue:

Look on the wall.....

Alabama Bird Dogs

*Thanks to my good ol' buddy Bobby "Side" Burns for this fine display of Southern humor.....

Grocery Store Wars

I've never really been an organic food fan, but after seeing this, I might have to become one. This is hilarious!!!

Idiot's Guide to eBay

Not sure if there's a book like this out there, but if there is....this guy should read it. Can you tell what's EXTREMELY wrong with this picture? I'll give you a hint....when you figure it out, it will be painfully obvious that this table is for sale by a man...

They weren't the first....

Being a kid of the '80's, of course I would think that the New Kids on the Block...and then groups like the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync...were the ones that made the concept of "boy bands" successful.

Looks like I was wrong!! Don't believe me? Take this group, for example:

Gert Jonnys

First of all, why does that guy have his arms spread like he's presenting something or performing magic? Second of all, those outfits look like highschool band uniforms. What's with that?! Not only does the guy on the right have a bad hairdo, but he's cross-eyed and has one hell of a gap between his front teeth...

You think that's bad? Keep reading!!!

Jahn Rondhos

First of all, the tall guy in the back looks a little too happy about having his arms around those dudes. The guy below him looks like Napoleon Dynamite's brother, Kip. And the guy on the far right seems a little shy or disengaged....are those bunk beds in the background???

Jan-Werners

I think these guys somehow bypassed the age limit. Looks like Abe Lincoln in the back...and that one dude...is that supposed to be a mohawk? Jesus...they look more like lumberjacks than a band..

Kurt Reines

Hmmm....are those sweatsuits? Is that Jerry "The King" Lawler second from the left? Is that Owen Wilson next to him? I've never seen a sweatsuit with a spread collar like that...have you???

Lennes

Ok. I don't really know what to make of these guys. Pink and white outfits....their shirts remind me of the nun that could fly, for some reason.

Curt Mortenz

These guys should have changed their names to "Camel Toes" and is that Grizzly Adams on the far right? I bet the third guy from the right played bass...

Madox

For some reason, the old 70's show ZOOM! comes to mind here. I'm really confused....what are they getting at here? Stripes and ladders...I don't see the connection...is this supposed to be a Pippi Longstockings cover band?

Tommy Bergs

Why are these guys so happy? They should have named themselves "Arnold Horshack and the Butt Cuts" if you ask me. If I was wearing a green satin shirts, I would definitely not be happy...

Kjell Brooz

I think this is actually a Bill Gates fraternity picture. There's no way these guys were actually in a band. Those shirts are a little too tight, guys!

Inge Lindqvists

These guys have to be related to one another...

Cool Candys

I didn't realize Sting was in a boy band prior to founding the Police....I always heard he was a teacher first. Hmmm. These guys are definitely cool. Especially the guy on the bottom in the glasses. Yellow and denim go well together...

Benny Lawins

I think the guy without his scarf must have put it in his pants...

We Four

First of all, someone can't count. There's six of you, not four! I thought Thelma was part of the Scooby Doo gang, not a boy band?!

Unit Five

Is that Neil Schon from Journey? I didn't know he was in a boy band prior to forming Journey!

Torlenners

Wow! Blue socks with an orange outfit....that guy is rad!! He freakin' rocks the house!!! And the guy in the back....it probably took him 5 hours and 3 cans of vasoline to slick his hair down like that. Talk about dedication!!! Is that a rabbit's foot hanging off his guitar?

Telex

If I knew I was getting my picture taken for my album cover, I would make sure I covered up my hickie!! Wow....matching necklaces....how sweet!!

Simsalabim

Let's go guys...either everyone tucks 'em in, or everyone un-tucks them...but we can't have both. I think the Power Rangers idea stemmed from this album cover, in a weird sort of way...

Patrix

Are all of these guys named Patrick or something? If so, that's such a cool way to name your band! Are we having dinner in the photo, guys? Is that empty bowl indicative of your talent? I really like the tablecloth, by the way...

Opus

Mork? Mork! Are you there? Opus is looking for you!

Norrsken

Cardigan sweaters...suspenders....now these guys are fashion GODS! Pulling your pants way up and then unbuttoning your shirt....that's a great combo. The sunglasses are a nice touch, too. Was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory filmed here, too?

Musikanterna

Richard Simmons and Captain Kangaroo!!! Wow...they were in the same boy band? How come we never knew that? Or is that Pauley Shore? I can't tell...

Macs

Man, don't you think wearing a t-shirt under those jackets would prevent itching or chafing? The two guys in the middle are definitely "special."

Ivan Henrys

Now these guys were certainly swingers. I bet they had ladies anytime they wanted them. The guy on the far right...is that Sam Kinison?

Hjarter Fem

Wow...a Valentine's Day boy band. How cool. Ron Howard's first claim to fame after he left the Andy Griffith show. That IS him on the far right, isn't it?

Gluntan

Boy, those ties do the trick! It wouldn't be complete without the red scarves in your pockets. I have every single album these guys put out. Kind of a combination between The Oakridge Boys and Motorhead. Good stuff...

Drifters

That's "Drifters" without the "The" so you don't confuse them with "The Drifters" since they are so similar in look and sound. As you can see, Napoleon's brother, Kip, also joined this band. These guys really got along well....they enjoyed back rubs. Spandex pants with matching satin shirts made it easier...

Garvis

This band actually took its name from one of the most popular playboys from my hometown of Corinth, MS. Darvis Gallaher was one of the most popular playboys ever. He was a counselor at my high school, and he drove the girls crazy. He had over 275 pairs of ankle boots that zipped on the side. Combined with Sansabelt pants, the boots were the trick. His finely groomed beard and gold jewelry also contributed to his success with the ladies. Anyway, Garvis effectively used that same look to launch themselves onto the music charts. With hits such as "Torn between Polly & Ester," "Put 'Em On, Zip 'Em Up, and Never Look Back," and "You Don't Have to be an Accordian Player to Wear a Pinkie Ring" Garvis made their mark for sure.

Bert Bennys

These guys were a cross between The Beatles and the Statler Brothers. They were more popular in Scandanavia, however.

Interesting article from the Clarion Ledger...

Jackson, MS (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Jackson courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Ole Miss Rebels, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Women's Language

Thought I would give you a quick lesson on the language that women tend to use. If you don't know these by now, it might not be too late. Take notes!!

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine."

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

WHATEVER

It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

Priceless

Spending your 1st Wedding Anniversary with your lovely wife at the Ritz in Buckhead = $A Nice Chunk of Change$



Complimentary dessert in your honor = $No Charge, but worth every spoonful$



Complimentary champangne waiting for you in the room after dinner = $No Charge, but worth every drop$



Are you ready for the kicker?????



The Ritz staff making a pretty ironic error on the card that came with the champagne, only reminding me of what I feared the MOST about marriage.....PRICELESS!!!!



Oh well.....I still love you, Hadley. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this was, indeed, a mistake on the part of the staff, and not a sign of what the future has in store for me!!!!

Skeleton Man

This little guy can get down!!

OK...I just had to post this...

I'll probably go to hell for this, but you have to admit....it's flippin' hilarious...

Good advice

"Never get deeply in debt to someone who cried at the end of Scarface." -- Robert S. Wieder

What's wrong with this picture??

Let's see....it's Labor Day Weekend, you're hanging out by your pool, with hot girls in bikini's all around you....



So can you figure out what's wrong with this picture??? Let's see...



You read the latest issue of People Magazine??? Hmmmm....let's see.....WTF???!!!

Advice from Alice Cooper

So I'm on a flight last night to Minneapolis, and I'm reading the latest issue of Harp Magazine. There's a one-page article by Alice Cooper...where he gives his opinions or thoughts on certain things. Despite chopping up baby dolls, killing chickens onstage, and performing with a live boa constrictor around his neck...Alice is a pretty smart guy. Here are a few points that I thought were worth mentioning:



Women take much more pain than men, physically and emotionally. So we're really remiss in saying, "take it like a man." "Take it like a woman" is much more real.

My motto is: Be the person your dog thinks you are. Think about that. Because your dog thinks you are the greatest thing ever. You could beat your dog, throw him outside in the snow, and you go out there and he'd be going, haah, haah, haah. And he'd look at you and think you were the greatest thing of all time.

Everything starts at home as far as I'm concerned. I'm a true believer in the family, and it's not just because I have one, it's just the fact that family does mean everything.

One of the bizarre things in the world to me is that America is, I think, like 60-percent overweight. And yet all I ever see on TV is fitness and fast food adds--we can't make up our minds. I think of America like a kid in a candy shop.

What scares me the most? Probably CNN.