The Spit Take-Back

Most of the people that truly know me would say, without a doubt, that I'm a very remnsicent person. For some reason, I have an exceptionally good memory...especially regarding my childhood and growing up in Corinth, Mississippi. I readily admit this, and I'm rather proud of my ability to "unforget" a lot of things. Sometimes it takes me by surprise....suddenly remembering something that I hadn't thought of in years. And that's not unusual. But what IS unusual, I must say, is when I have a dream about something that I haven't thought of in years. Let's take it one step further and even say a NIGHTMARE about something I had completely forgotten about. Case in point:

THE SPIT TAKE-BACK


I had a dream...er....a nightmare...last night about something that used to happen to me on a weekly basis as a kid. I was in the 4th grade, and I was riding through my old neighborhood on my yellow and black Huffy Pro Thunder bike (with yellow mag wheels). My trusty dog, Rip, was running along side me, and I was cruising through Creekwood without a care in the world. All of a sudden, Howard Bowles and Michael Brewer jumped out from behind some bushes, grabbed me and threw me (and my bike) into Monica Prather's yard. Howard jumped on top of me, sat on my chest, and leaned over me with his knees on my arms pinning me to the ground. He had a huge wad of chewing gum in his mouth, which obviously meant that his spit glands were chugging 100 MPH. He leaned forward so that his face was directly over mine, and he slowly let a large wad of spit dangle over my face. It stretched and stretched and hung down at least two feet so that it barely swung just above my nose...and then my right eye....and then back to my nose. And right when I thought it was about to break and splat right in my face, he sucked it back up and began laughing hysterically. He jumped off me, grabbed my bike and threw it into the woods, and he and Michael ran off down the street.

Why did I choose to write about this? Probably because any guy that reads this will know exactly what I'm talking about. Kids will always be kids. But some of the things that "neighborhood bullies" and older brothers do to the younger, more "vulnerable" ones can scar you for life! From making you eat boogers to giving you a noogie until you named 20 brands of cigarettes...they always knew how to make you want to take the "long way home" or never go visit your best friend while they were home.

I'm 33 years old, and I'm still having nightmares about the horrors of my childhood. Tonight I'll probably dream about being attacked by the midgets from the midget farm....seriously.